Baseball began in March, the draft anyway. A few practices and many games later, we are now into the heart of tournament season as well. We seem to be eating, living, and breathing baseball. Max went from not having the greatest of confidences to being on the top of the world--hitting every time and enjoying the game. Since getting hit with a few balls and facing some tough teams this tournament weekend, he feels like a 'loser'--and no amount of "just do your best" seems to be helping him out of his slump and feelings of worthlessness.
We live in such an age of "be the best or don't bother" and I find it very challenging to teach my boys that their best really is good enough. Just try. Just always try to be the very best Max you can be. That's all I expect, that's all God expects... But, it's tough. There's always someone who wants more (whether it's internal or external).
Max has always been hard on himself. He wants to be perfect. He wants to make everyone happy (and perfection somehow seems to be the answer to this demand he places on himself). I, in turn, want him to be happy. If only he could be like his three year old brother and just be happy blowing bubbles, getting a piece of candy now and then, riding his bike, playing in the dirt, and finding the occasional caterpillar who is brave enough to be cuddled by an energetic three year old boy (smile).
But, Max has always been a people pleaser--he worries and has horrible anxiety issues if he feels like he's letting anyone down. Seriously, kiddo, just go out there and have fun. Daddy always tells him to just keep swinging. Don't be afraid. If you fail, at least you've tried. Logic wasted on our eight year old (sad). Apparently he's inherited the pp (people pleaser) gene from me. It's become far less dominant in my 30's...
All we can do is tell him how proud we are of him and how much we love him. I would have been terrified to even attempt a sport at his age--we started so much later way back then. I don't want his confidence to be based on his performance. I want it to be based on the genuinely amazing and unique kid he is. Everyone strikes out from time to time. Ya gotta just keep at it--swinging away at all those obstacles that come your way (I would have been happy to hit a foul ball at his age).
Prayers for Max as he takes this all so hard and obsesses about it. No sport is worth bringing him this far down, but with the bad comes the good and happy times as well--just wish he could be more light hearted about it and have those happy times more often. If this is how hard he takes things at eight, I can't imagine how much fun the future of his athletic endeavors will be! I hope to get a handle on it by then. Because it SHOULD be fun. I keep telling him to try to have a better attitude and that life is what you make it--but to Max, it's not worth it or good enough unless you 'make it' perfectly.
Hoping the month ahead is better as we have three more weekends of tournaments ahead--lots of games, long days--and hopefully lots of fun. Griff can't wait to get out there! He cheers his brother on from the stands (when he's not finding every mud and water whole he can possibly find).
I was never an athlete, so I am impressed with everything my baby does--but Mom's pride isn't enough anymore. Sad. They grow up way too fast... About as fast as they swing...
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