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| Joy. Letting it settle into my bones and wrap me up in it's warmth as comfy as my favorite sweat pants. |
Max and Marty are at basketball camp today. Marty has decided to coach with his buddy, Paul. This makes my heart happy. Max seems to do better when his daddy is coaching. He seems far less anxious and he is able to have more fun. His new basketball shoes looked HUGE when he took them out of the box this morning--but low and behold, they fit. My boy has become a giant :)!
Griffyn is working on more "projects" at the kitchen table which is scattered with glue bottles, glitter, construction paper, scissors, stickers, markers, oil pastels, and all art things imaginable. He loves to create--and I will do everything in my power to facilitate this messy business of creation. That, and it keeps him busy for quite some time :). As he is cutting and gluing and creating "my duys"--we have the best conversations. He told me that he really wants to be a grown up and doesn't want to be a "yittle tid" anymore. When I asked him why he said, "So I tan be in charge and say fings yike, 'Det in da tar' and 'tlean up dis mess!'". Oh goodness! So THAT'S what I sound like!
This week has been a little crazy (how often do I write that?!? ;)), but winding down to a comfortable lull of familiar crazy now. As most of you have heard me whine about being sick for the past few months upon months, a visit to the ENT brought up a concern that was rather scary for this momma--the possibility of a brain tumor. My vision issues and intense pain and pressure within my ears (which are just fine and lovely) along with a host of other issues, caused Dr. Schulte to schedule an MRI yesterday. An experience I don't really ever want to do again--for those of you who are claustrophobic and have a hard time lying perfectly still for 40 minutes while your head and neck are trapped in a Hannibal Lecter like mask contraption that snaps over your face--you'll understand. The dye did not take kindly to my veins which decided to close thus causing the combination of dye and saline to go underneath my skin--which felt like someone had lit a match and set me on fire--all while NOT being able to move and being encased like a sausage in a very scary loud magnetic and photographic device. I thought of my friend, Nicole, who has endured so much in the form of chemo, radiation, surgery, and test after test after test--I thought of her and was able to be still...
Dr. Schulte is amazing. He has given both of my boys tubes, removed Max's tonsils and adenoids, and been such an integral key to keeping this fam healthy--which is no small task with this asthma/sinus/allergy bunch. He encourages me to be a warrior for my family's health--even when people don't understand. In short, we love him. He checked out my pokes to make sure all was well, and asked if I'd like him to read the MRI first then come back and get me--or if we should just go in and read them together. At this point in the waiting game, I chose the later. We sat side by side, going through each image as he explained what he was looking for. Pretty amazing experience to be able to see the inside of your brain! Surreal and awesome--God made us all so complex! I couldn't help but notice there was a lovely little heart in the middle of my brain where both hemispheres connected. "No one has ever said that before," Dr. Schulte chuckled. Preschool teachers notice these things ;). We were looking for symmetry--and all was good. No tumors. Nothing strange or suspicious. I had a beautiful brain! SO relieved--yet, what next?
Dr. Schulte believes I have something called Mal de Debarquement Syndrome (MdDs). It is often experienced by "women my age" who have been on a boat, roller coaster, or experienced a situation of traumatic imbalance of some kind. He honed in on this when I had mentioned that all of this horrible pain started happening after I rode on the roller coaster at Adventureland this summer with my niece. I got off the roller coaster and felt like I was still on it--the feeling just wouldn't leave. The sensation of pain in the ears, dizziness, imbalance, nausea, etc. can last from months to years (the mean being 3.5 years). It can also be caused by a variant of a migraine (which I also have) and my migraines have been getting worse and stranger (vision issues that are just scary) as well. There is no cure. You just wait it out. Some medications can help ease the discomfort of the issues, however. Yay--more pills! He has referred me on to a neurologist. I had both of Dr. Hansen's children in preschool, and his office is full of mommies whose children I care for, so I know I will be in good hands. He comes highly recommended by a very dear friend of mine as well (love you, Sara). In the mean time, my regular doctor (am I getting that old that I have to differentiate my docs? ;)) wants to chat on Monday about possible things we can do to make these issues a bit more bearable (my kidneys need a break from all the ibuprofen ;)). I am sooooo relieved to know it is nothing life threatening--just annoying :). I can handle annoying--I just may be a bit more so myself ;).
Griffyn is asking me to come and check out all the creatures he has made (googly eyes are the bomb!!!) and this Halloween stuff won't pack up itself! So thankful for an extra hour this weekend and beyond excited to visit the Black family and cuddle baby McKenna tomorrow! Need to bake something yummy for the Black crew! Love to y'all and continued prayers going up for those on the East Coast!!!! So thankful my sisters are all safe and sound! Enjoy your Saturday and the sunshine (and time to rewarm this cup of Zen).
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