Most of us in education look forward to continuing ed hours as much as we look forward to a trip to the dentist--tolerable, but something that just has to be done and not something that we really enjoy. And when you've been in the field for so long, it's easy to get into the mind set "I dare you to teach me something NEW!". Really, after twelve years, what crazy new ideas can you give me. I've been through the trenches, I've seen it all, and quite frankly, every year it just gets worse... I mean really, what light bulb moment is going to happen that is worth taking me away from my family that I hardly ever get to see due to our crazy schedules for an entire morning and afternoon?
So, it's pretty obvious, I've been in a bit of a rut lately. You could say a tad discouraged, maybe even depressed--yes. Wondering what else I could possibly do with this degree I worked so hard for so many years ago? Waking up before 6 a.m. yesterday morning to go to this conference, I really just wanted to get it over with, get home, and figure out what in the world I was going to do with the rest of my life. I know I love working with kids. That is not the issue. The issue is, I am thoroughly exhausted, feel unsupported, unappreciated and do not feel respected--and now I have to give up a Saturday with my family on top of that. So here we go, let's get this requirement over with. Great attitude, right?
Wow--and the day became one of those "God things". The speaker blew me away! Amazing does not even begin to cut it. She had been a kindergarten teacher, worked with at risk teens (lived with them as a house mom), was a principal, and now worked with high risk special needs kids (her calling) all week and then flew out on the weekends to give these seminars to encourage teachers. Talk about being in the trenches and having been there!!! This wasn't someone with less education then I had telling me I needed to get more education, this wasn't someone with less experience then I had telling me I needed more (or not even aware of or asking me what my experience was or IS or what I do on a weekly basis outside of my job to further educate myself)--this was someone who knew far more and had been through it ALL, managed and experienced far more than I and was respecting where I was coming from, asking my opinion, and wanting to support and help me. Wow. It was literally like whip lash. I cried. Was she for real?
She was so POSITIVE, so ENCOURAGING, so RESPECTFUL, so UPLIFTING. I was literally at the end of my rope. She didn't give me just a knot to hold on to--she gave me a platform to stand on. Yes, my career path IS important. I am not just a body. What I have to offer is unique to me. She began the conference by saying, "We go to work everyday and we help build people." She had me at "hello"... :)
We talked about how stressful our positions are and how teachers have their own unique stressors. The key to those stressors is having an administrative system that will consistently support their staff. We deal with so much--and that 'so much' can be just a, b, c, d in one little child and one family and then add 22 more plus kids to that mix and more families and portfolios and paperwork and long hours and more behavior problems and worrying about children, etc. etc. etc. And when you're feeling all this distress, it's hard to think clearly. (so that's my problem... ;)) And we, as teachers, take that all on. And it takes its toll. So, if you don't have an administration that supports you--let's face it, it's not a perfect world--what do you do?!? You have to take care of yourself. You do. And therein lies my problem. I worry too much, and I always tell myself, "someone HAS to care--if not their parents, if not the people that should--I have to" but when no one is listening, what do you do? You do all you can, and you HAVE to take care of you. You are no good to anyone if you don't take care of yourself. I needed a grown up to tell me that--besides my doctor--who then always puts me on an extra vitamin and tells me to get more sleep... I just wish they made band aids for everything...
She also talked about managing that pressure that threatens to overwhelm you so well by changing the way you think about situations. Attitude is everything. I can not take on everything. I can only change me. "You can only change yourself and how you look at things." She talked about having a visual support system at work. Y'all have seen my bulletin board of photos of family and friends and kids at my "office" :) --it's over flowing. I do this because I need this in the classroom. And when she started talking about this I thought of a conversation I had with a co-worker as I was putting more pictures up last week--it really does help me. She talked about how important it is for us to be able to do that in our classrooms. I do need to think differently about my job and perhaps look at it more in a 'detached' perspective. These children all become "my children" and I see my boys in their eyes (be they girls or boys :)) and I think 'how would I want someone to treat my babies?'. I can't fix it all. But I can love them all... My favorite quote of hers of the day, "You can lean on excuse or focus on what you can control." Amen, sister (she's my new bff, she just doesn't know it yet ;)).
She talked about bringing joy and relaxation into our lives by bringing it into our classrooms--getting more goofy and silly with the kids--which we do--but bringing it out more. More singing and dancing, having a laugh-a-thon with the kids, having a "comfort kit" in our classrooms, and relaxation exercises the kids can do (smelling the flower or blowing out the candles--loved this one--holding up five fingers and pretending they are candles and blowing out each one like they are candles on a birthday cake). Just small things to either elevate or bring calm to classroom. We all need those small things as teachers...
We talked about Magic Wishes, and Bear Caves and Silly Pirates, and King of Hearts and all kinds of fun, tangible, concrete ideas. She did not push product. In fact, she would put a few onscreen and say, "but you don't need this, you can make your own." We talked about new ways to INVOLVE PARENTS (thank you!!!) and being a parent myself, I appreciated that she respected that we don't always have the TIME we would like to spend and we often feel guilty about that and would LIKE to be more involved but work, our other kids and schedules, impede upon this. One of her suggestions, coming from a momma who LOVES her pictures, was so cool. She suggested we have parents donate disposable cameras if they would like to. Write the child's name on it and take photos of that child doing various things throughout their day (art projects, dancing/singing, playing on the playground, in the gym, etc.) and when it's all used up, put it in their cubby and the parent can then get it developed. Costs us nothing! And the parent gets those mommy/daddy moments they are missing throughout their child's day. LOVE it :)!
We talked about behavioral issues--which seem to be on the rise--and another quote I took away, "You CAN NOT teach a new skill set if the brain is in crisis". So true. And yet how many times does that go ignored? She also was careful to stress that what ever you pay attention to is what will continue in your classroom--so pay attention to what is going right. When a child is throwing a tantrum in your classroom, make sure they are safe, then walk around the class room and praise the children who are doing what they should be doing "Claire, you are building such a great structure out of blocks over here! Michael, I love the way you are sharing that book with Emma!". I needed that reminder. So often the misbehavior is the behavior that gets the most attention. I need to be more mindful of what I am paying attention to. Unfortunately, the tantrums in our classrooms tend to be more violent and in that case, I will unapologetically call administration and attend to what is going right in our classroom. Thankfully I have amazing co-teachers as well! Love you guys!
This was my "aha" moment. She talked about the three reasons why we all do something--from zero to 110: 1. to gain something, 2, to avoid losing something, and 3. because you love someone. She said for a child that has major behavior challenges and problems, number one and two aren't going to matter. Have you ever tried a behavior chart with these kids and threatened to take their sticker away and heard, "fine, I don't like stickers anyway!"? You have to have a relationship with them. SO important.
We talked about self regulation, redirection with purpose, and getting through to those kids that are going through emotional pain. We talked about lying, why kids do it, why it begins at this age, playing the "true and untrue game" (loved this one), tattling, having a tattle box or tattle walkie talkie in the room, enhancing social/emotional development through movement, fun moving ways to do math, fun ways to do the ABC's and literacy, music as a way to involve parents and build teamwork, how to teach respect, strategies to teach children to be responsible and handle disappointments appropriately, teaching children emotional literacy, instilling honesty and unselfishness, and we also talked about children who hurt themselves and when this becomes excessive behavior. I could go on and on, and this is getting lengthy, so anyone who want my notes, I can make copies, I'm going to try to wrap this up. All in all, an amazing day! My brain was mush by the end of it (but in a good way) :)!
If you get an opportunity to see Ms. Pearl speak, do. Please do. It was the spark and cognitive earthquake I needed to continue. Love and peace to you all--and happy hugs and nose wiping! :)
"With just one small voice singing out a song; with just one small voice singing sweet and strong, One by one they'll grow, and together sing along, and then soon all the world will be singing."
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