PFT's today--Pulmonary function tests. Just felt cooler calling them by the letters. Rough morning. Didn't know the damn things were going to make me cry. Or keep me sitting in the doc's office forever. Couldn't leave till I could drive. 6 longest seconds of my life--three times. Bleck!
As most of you laboriously know, I have been sick... forever... And this morning, well, after bombing my PFT's (just say it, it's fun :)), I'm pretty damn proud of myself for existing, functioning, working, breathing, being at all... Why yes, I am superwoman...
To those of you who have the infinite pleasure of living your life asthma free (lucky bastards) -- you've probably never giving much thought to breathing, your lung's function, or how it all effects the rest of your body in it's entirety. Those of us with it and with children with it, think about it on a daily basis. And when we get hit with respiratory illnesses it is especially unpleasant, but as of late, my body has been feeling just plain awful.
So, the numbers--the ranges... Here we go. A "normal" range for a pulmonary function test reading is somewhere between 80 and 100. "Moderate" is anywhere between 60 and 80. "Bad" is 40 to 60. Mine? Go big or go home, was--da, da, da-- 34. Awesome. My doc wanted to know how I was functioning at all and commenced freak out-- "we must fix this!!!"--mode (God, I love her, she really is the best). I was, amazingly, calm and chill--well, I really am comatose at this point ;)--no air coming or going ;). And, after all of this "stuff"--if it's one thing I've learned--it doesn't pay to freak out. There will be another specialist to see and more tests to be done ;).
So when I'm sucking wind and feeling like I have a ton of bricks on my chest all day at work and can barely make it up the steps? Totally get it. When I'm sick and my body is running a raging fever at the end of every stinking week because it's expended ALL of it's energy just trying to breathe? Get it again. Oh, and the kicker? My lung's "age"? 100. Yeah, 100. I've always felt like an old soul, but come on! People, I am kicking ass for 100!!! :) Laugh, that's funny.
So, on prednisone (called it!) again for the next 30 (yes, that says thirty) days. And on another kind of inhaler 2 times a day (except that my lovely insurance denied it since I'm on another inhaler for my "regular" asthma and I have to call the pharmacy back in three days -- since it's the weekend and all -- and see if it's been approved -- the pharmacist asked if I was having a really bad time with my asthma and when I explained the entire situation to her, she felt so horrible and said, "Unfortunately your insurance company doesn't care. They just don't want to have to pay for it." Nice. So, I guess I'll just wait till Monday?) that is a different kind of steroid than my other inhaler to try to get my lungs functioning to a regular kind of "bad" ;).
Then, it's off to see a Pulmonologist and get inflicted with other fun tests--I mean get the privilege of taking other tests. I just go with it all now. My body truly amazes me that it even moves at this point ;). My PFT print outs go with me with all their "very severe" flags and graphs and percentages and the thought of being on prednisone for an entire month just makes me ... I don't even know if there are words... Marty's packing up his essentials to go live else where for awhile ;) ...
So I'm just going to go ahead and pat myself on the back and give myself a heck of a lot of credit for doing as much as I'm doing for a body that is functioning with as little oxygen and as low capacity as it is. No wonder I'm so freaking tired. On top of everything else with my lungs, they just don't flipping work. So there, world. Lay off. This 100 year old is doing pretty well, thank you very much :). And if you could do better, you're willing to walk a mile. Here' my shoes... :)
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