Success!!!

Just had my post op. apt. with Dr. Fry and another ultrasound to make sure all clotting was gone today (a week after surgery).  Everything looks fabulous!  So happy!  Been a long, slow, painful week, but by Thursday, I was feeling pretty good!!!  Thanks to all of my amazing friends and family for all of your care, support, yummy meals, and love.  It was all very much appreciated!!!  Aside from a little hiccup with a stint in the ER for Griff this week, it has been smooth sailing!  Nothing like your baby having to get a couple stitches from being a little too brave on a big slide at the park with Daddy to take your mind off your own pain.  Smile.
Excited for just three weeks left of taking it slow.  Looking forward to feeling 100% soon and very happy with the results so far.  God is good! 

My "champion" 2 year old after stitches (this was taken after getting home from the ER after 11 p.m.~Daddy got him ice-cream from McDonald's.  I think he ate two bites.  Such a trooper!!!).

As a side note, Griffyn's third birthday is coming up very soon.  He is obsessed with the Nick Jr. show "Max and Ruby" (I think in large part due to the fact that his big brother's name is Max) adapted from the Rosemary Wells book series.  Marty and I stopped by Nobbies on our way back from my ultrasound today and found NOTHING.  There are no licensed products out there.  I found a cake topper and a few little toys online, but not on any reputable sites I would order from.  If anyone finds or knows of anyplace online or in store that I can find "Max and Ruby" products, please, please, please let me know.  I would greatly appreciate it!  He has one little "Max" beanie made by Ty, but I can't seem to find anything else (beside the books and videos).  I have a few weeks to get creative, but any advice, tips, or information on the subject would be most welcome!

So, things are going well, and everything worked out in God's perfect timing--and I have to admit, it all went by very fast.  Such is life!  Take care, much love and peace to you all!

The Black Crowes - Soul Singing (original video)

When you need a little lift~~let your soul start singing =)!

A little respect...

As I have no option for 'water cooler talk' at 'the office', I'm retaliating a little here on my blog.  Retaliating against disrespect in the work place.  Granted, with young kids it's going to happen.  They're always testing to see just how far they can go--it's like they're BEGGING for boundaries (smile).

 
It's been a very rough and long couple of months at work with the bigger 'kids'.  I guess I'm just really tired of being treated like a babysitter and an indentured servant some, by no means all, of the time by parents and even fellow coworkers of mine.  I have a brain.  I use it frequently (fueled by coffee these days~smile again).  I graduated magna cum laude in the top ten percent of my class at Simpson College (with top honors in English and the Humanities).  I took two years of early education classes and completed my practicum (in which God spoke to me, quite loudly, 'middle school and high school are NOT for you--change your major' =)).  I've been working with children for ten years.  I have my own two children, and I do know a few things (although my brain seems to function on fewer and fewer cells as the years go by!  I blame sleep deprivation--ugh!). 

I know juggling work and parenting is tough--I'm in the trenches right there with ya (smile).  It just seems that common courtesy and respect are lacking in our day to day exchanges with one another (and our culture in general) anymore.  I guess my wish is that teachers and TA's got just a little bit more respect.  It gets down right depressing at times!  Most of us have worked very hard and get paid pretty little, but we do it for all the 'benefits' money can not give--for no other reason than we see an immense value in what we do and we have seen/experienced the effects and differences we can make on a young child's life.  We love children and see our own children in their eyes, we want the best for their and our own children's future, we believe every child deserves a chance--we breathe it and live it everyday.  And yes, it's completely exhausting and involves every ounce of heart and physical strength you have.  Like my husband and I say, you have to be 'on' all the time--engaged and ready to go.   You're "up all night with the kids", "bad mood", "not feeling well" etc. etc. etc. has to be left at the door.  Kids won't put up with that (wink)...

I know every child's name in my classroom and the surrounding classrooms.  I know each child's parent's name as well.  I am NOT "hey you" or "that girl" or "(insert name of child here)'s teacher".  Please have the respect to know (or try to get to know) my name. 

I am with your child up to 10 hours a day.  I can not imagine dropping off my two year old at daycare or my son at school and not inquiring as to how his day went or if there are any issues I need to be aware of--basically taking a few seconds to check in on their day.  I can also not imagine completely ignoring Griffyn's caregiver or Max's teacher when I am greeted upon arrival or departure.  This is common courtesy.  If you are on your cell phone and just too busy to respond to my "hello" or "have a good night", please just nod or wave.  I really do understand that life is busy.  As a working mom with two very busy boys (involved in just about everything) and a husband who teaches and coaches, I truly, truly understand.  If I am talking to another parent and you need my attention or have a question, please say 'excuse me' and I will be with you in a minute.  You do not need to talk through your child (ex. "I guess she doesn't have time for us") or stomp off.  I am one person in a classroom full of kids.  I always do my best to hear and help everyone~please try to be understanding of this and know that I am doing my absolute best and want the best for you and your child. 

Life is crazy, life is hard, and you never know what a person is going through until you've walked in their shoes~~but I think if we respect each other and understand that we are all a part of this human race thing together, life could be a lot sweeter.  It takes two seconds to smile and maybe a few more to say 'thank you', but it's amazing how those two, very small little things, can change the course of a person's day.  Cue Aretha... 

I would also like to give a HUGE thank you to all of the parents and coworkers that make this profession the true joy that it can be.  Your thoughtfulness brings me to tears.  YOU are all AMAZING!!!  So, hugs (or high fives) to all of you!  And the even more amazing thing is, that your thoughtfulness is mirrored and reflected in your children as well.  The things they pick up on (another smile)!  And really, that's all a part of it too, isn't it?  What we are showing and passing down to our little (and big) ones.  They are copy cats, and if we show love and thoughtfulness to those around us, they will too.  It will just be the natural way of things for them.  Wow, what an amazing world this would be...

I would also like to give endless thanks to all of my children's care givers and teachers for the marvelous job they have done in educating and loving and caring for the two most important treasures in my life!  Who they are is, in a large part, because of you.  I would also like to thank my husband for all of his tireless work in teaching and coaching his 'other kids', and for all the ideas he gives me.  Thanks for helping me to see the bigger picture.

So thank you for letting me vent, blessings, and take care.  I'm off to get a squinkie for Griff who just went potty all by himself again!  In the throws of potty training.  No degree can prepare you for that!

Good things to come...

Just really struggling today.  Melancholy doesn't begin to describe it.  Can't seem to get it together for the life of me.  Lots of trying and sad things going on with so many people I love and it is breaking my heart.  Feeling helpless.  Spending lots of time on my knees in prayer.  Sending out too many sympathy cards, in the midst of wedding and baby congrats, and it is all just so surreal.  Life goes on--the sun sets and rises again as we are all in the throws of life...
Celebrated my cousin, Maggie's, wedding this past weekend after finding out some very dear friends of ours are separating after ten or so years of marriage.  By all outward appearances, they were a perfect couple--and I envied there casual, laid back, and seemingly effortless marriage.  I feel like someone has died.  There is no other way to explain it. 
Two very special women lost their mothers on the same day this past week as well.  Both women were their mother's primary care givers.  Another co-worker lost her baby grandson.  Devastating to say the least.  
Another girl friend of mine has been battling a painful custody trail/case since this past October.  The court systems make no sense to me, and I have to admit that I have lost some faith in our judicial system.  She is fighting for what is best for her child.  What is best for him is his mommy.  A dad with drug issues and in-laws that admit to drug use are around this child.  What in heaven's name is there to 'look over' in this custody hearing?  I'm at a loss.  She is the strongest, hardest fighting, most giving woman I know.  I pray that God will bless her beyond her wildest dreams as these past months have been a never ending night mare for her.
Searching to find that proverbial silver lining.  Pray, pray, pray...  Counting my own blessings, and the 'positive' in all of these miserable circumstances is one:  I have learned to be thankful and to appreciate what God has given me so much more. 
This all began with me and my 'problems' affecting my days and nights--no sleep, worry, anxiety--over a marriage I felt was lacking so much (mostly from me) and after years of feeling depleted and never being able to find "just us" time together and trying so hard to make it better, I was asking myself the question of 'what now'?  Then WHAM!  The lives of so many of my friends began to spiral downhill and I began to realize that my 'problems' were really quite insignificant. 
So I will continue to pray, to be in the word for my sanity's sake, and cry.  That I can not help.  I am so tired and just can not motivate myself to do more than light a candle and make a cup of tea.  That usually boosts my mood somewhat.  At a loss.  Being a very proactive, 'fix-it' kind of person, I want to make it all better and realize, painfully, that I can not.  What I CAN do is pray incessantly, listen, bake cookies and bread, send cards, and say 'I love you.'  That's all I've got right now. 
Praying for some sunshine in all this darkness for all my girls and their families right now.  A little glimmer of hope.  A hint of good  things to come...

The Yin and The Yang

Anyone who knows my children knows there could not be two more opposite boys in the universe.  Really.  This creates many delightful and stressful scenarios in our family dynamic (smile) and has sparked many nature vs. nurture discussions in our household.  How can two small boys, raised by the same set of parents, in the best environment we know how to make for them~be so completely different?  The nature of God is, once again, revealed in all of His almighty glory (another smile).  Therein lies the answer.  He created all of us so perfectly different.  It is quite marvelous...

Here is an anecdote to illustrate this marvelousness.  A few nights ago, I was cleaning up supper while Griffyn was still finishing up at the table.  Any time I can get Griff to be still a few extra minutes is fine by me~~he was delving into the heart cakes we had made for Valentine's day and getting pink frosting and red sugar absolutely everywhere.  He is quite gifted at mess making!  Max had eaten quickly, bussed his dishes (as we say in this house), and went to go and get started on his reading 'homework'.  He went to the quietest place he knows (our bedroom), snuggled under the covers, and began reading 'Don't Bump The Glump' by Shel Silverstien.  As I was washing dishes and picking up the mess on the floor (peas roll everywhere on hardwood), I kept hearing the timer beep every few minutes (Max is responsible for keeping track of his reading minutes and a timer just makes this process easier on all of us).  After several minutes of this, I was more than annoyed.  I went into our bedroom and asked Max what the constant beeping was all about.  Max looked up from his book and said to me, "Well, Mom, when I'm looking at the pictures of the make believe creatures, I'm not REALLY reading, so I stop the timer--or else that would be cheating--and then I start it up again when I'm done looking at the picture and start reading again."  Bless his heart.  So concerned with what is fair, honest, and just~~even when no one is watching.  I melted.  While I was whisked away to an imaginary land of my own of congratulatory parent pats on the back and basking in the bliss of feeling like a 'good mom', Griff started screaming for me from the kitchen...

Frosting smeared all over his cute little face (even in the crevices of his many dimples) and all over his third favorite Halloween shirt (he's still obsessed with the 'holiday'), red sugar stained lips and cake crumbs all over his hands and in his hair, my second little cherub says to me, "Mommy, I didn't det no tup take".  Knowing full well what he said (Mom, I didn't get a cup cake--for those of you who don't speak Griffyn), I asked, "What?" very calmly.  "I SADE, Mom, I DIDN'T DET NO TUP TAKE!".  Not as calmy, I asked him, "Then what is that pink frosting all over your face?"  He looks up at me with completely innocent eyes (he has the look MASTERED) and says, "I don't know", shrugging his shoulders and sighing heavily for added emphasis.  Humbled in nanoseconds.  Invisible pats on the back and all imagined accolades silenced. 

And no, Griff did NOT get another cup cake and had to bear the fact that some invisible beast apparently ran away with the first one after smearing it's contents all over HIS face.  I had to deal with the beeping every few minutes for almost an hour as Max would not believe me that it really was okay if he didn't stop the timer every single time he glanced at an illustration.  It just didn't feel right to him. 

So, there you have it~my yin and my yang.  We coexist peacefully most of the time, but what would life be without the occasional (all right, let's just say 'daily') clash?  Never a dull moment around here, that's for sure.  And I love them both with all my heart and am so excited to see them discover and take on this big ole world~in their own separate ways, but hand in hand, as brothers who love each other with all of their hearts.  That is something, regardless of thier differences, I know whey will always share...

Moving on...

I have my first surgery date set.  Yay!  Hard to believe this all began way back in October of 2010!  The nurse called to let me know it would be a process of two different surgical procedures.  The first is an EV LT and will be done on March 18th.  I will have a post opp. appointment and ultrasound with my surgeon the 25th to make sure all clots are gone and everything in progressing the way it should.  The recovery time is three to four weeks, so depending on how all that goes, we will then schedule the second surgical procedure (the actual removal/stripping of one of my veins).  I can't remember what the big fancy word is for that one.  We're looking at the end of April, beginning of May for that one.  It'll be a spring/summer of surgery and healing by the looks of things.  Was hoping to get back on that bike path a little sooner, but I'm more than ready to get this all done and over with!  I'm sure my family is too!!!  Now to 'take it easy' after surgery will be a little tough--but I was warned that if I don't, the veins could reopen (gross) in an explosive manner that would undue everything~scared me enough to take the advice to heart.  Most nervous about being put under.  Little nervous about the pain afterwards, the icky bandages, and the fact that I can't get them wet for four days--so gross.  I'll make Marty change and clean everything (smile).  So, the process of operation get healthy is on it's way.  I'm excited and scared, but mostly excited.  To be pain free will be such a huge relief and blessing!!! 

Abnormal as usual...

Second consult with Dr. Fry yesterday, and for those of you who are really bored, here's the update (smile).  
Two more ultrasounds yesterday (thought it was just going to be one more)~lying down and standing to record the reflux again.  The standing one was the new one-and weird-and as I have no coordination, I was really just trying not to fall over.  The insurance company needs to know that I have continuous reflux while sitting AND standing, apparently (guess they have to make sure you could quite possibly die if you don't have surgery).  This tech was so much more proactive and got me involved by letting me see the screen (so strange seeing the INSIDE of your body-but so cool too =)), explained everything, let me hear the blood flow and reflux, and answered all questions.  She was amazing.  And the jelly was warm =). 
After all that prodding and pushing we went into the consult room and sat forever waiting for the nurse to come in and ask us the same questions we were asked three months ago.  After MORE waiting, Dry Fry came in and apologized for our long wait (we had been there for two hours at this point), sighed and sat down. 
Gotta love it when the surgeon starts out by saying, "Normally, most people with varicositis and reflux...".  Great, I could only imagine where this was going.  Why is my body always abnormal?  He went on to tell me that most people with the issues I have have one underlying (he used a MUCH bigger word) vein that is working (not refluxing) and one that is refluxing (not working).  In my case BOTH of my leg's main veins (again, much bigger word used) are refluxing.  Sweet.  So, the surgery will be more extensive than he had thought.  The original vein he wanted to strip will still have to be stripped (the word alone makes me cringe a little) but then he said they will have to go underneath that vein and laser the two main refluxing veins as well or I'm just going to have the same problem reoccur somewhere else in my leg.  Recovery time?  Three to four weeks.  Awesome~cause that will totally work with my two boys and my job.  My poor husband!!!  Guess this is payback for football season? (wink)...
Next step, resubmitting all of this new information to our awesome and ever so helpful insurance company (dripping sarcasm) that over half of my pay check goes to each pay period.  We'll get a call from the nurse next week to give us a ball park figure and we'll set up a surgery date.  Because it's more extensive than he originally thought (which makes me feel a little better~I thought I was just being a baby about all this pain), it will more than likely cost more and take more of his time.  Of course.  So, by next week we'll see if we have to take a second mortgage out on the house or not (wink).  And I'll be returning those new boots I just ordered for my cousin's wedding as well. 
Long visit, more questions answered, and I got to see and hear the inside of my body.  He commented that I have the start of reflux happening in my right leg as well, but we'll revisit that later.  I'm in my mid thirties.  Really? 
Marty was a trooper.  So glad he came with me (and he didn't fall asleep during the ultrasounds this time =)).  So now we just sit and wait for that phone call next week while Dr. Fry deals with our insurance company (his direct words, "I'll be fighting for you.  Their 'rules' on this stuff change every week."  Great comfort).  Thanks for all the well wishes and support all!  I appreciate it so much!  And now as my boys are rocking out to 'Back In Black' (ug!), I should probably get off the computer and return to my motherly duties.  I think it's time to bake another batch of chocolate chip cookies!!! =)  God bless!