And Kate marries her Prince...

Ahhh, the Royal Wedding...

Alas, I did NOT wake up at 4 a.m. to participate in the viewing, but I can't seem to escape it today regardless.  The pomp, the circumstance, the gorgeous Kate, all the funny hats...  An affair of grand proportions~~royal, prestigious, over the top...  It made me wish I was English (smile). 

And in the midst all the glitz and glamour, the red carpet, the gowns, the revelry, the tradition, the celebrities, the paparazzi~~there are two very young people about to begin the journey of their lives...

And I couldn't help but pray for them today.  Marriage is so hard.  Anyone who says differently is lying (or on their honeymoon~smile).  It is actually amazing to me that anyone goes through with it anymore considering the current divorce rate.  It's more difficult than parenthood (and that's saying alot~wink).  It's a test of spirit, body, and mind--of strength and of will.  It's also a test of faith.  Faith in God, and faith in each other.  A trust unlike any other human relationship we have on this earth.  I will give you all of me, my time, my energy, my love, my soul~and I trust you to respect it, nurture it, and put it above all others. 
It's so easy for so many things to come between, not as uncomplicated and easy as the love between a parent and child which seems so effortless, selfless, and unconditional.  From a spouse I have expectations.  Expectations of promises that were made from the beginning of the dating process to the day we say "I do".  And how little we really know of each other when we say those words (even those of us who were together five years before we said them--smile) or of whom we have yet to become...
Wishing the newly married couple all the best as their elaborate walk down the isle will more than likely be the easiest of the paths they have yet to traverse together.  God bless.

How to look past the boogers in your playdough (and when it's time to make new)~the art of contentment...

Ahhh, it's been a week.  The weather hasn't helped much~~all grey and dreary, cold and rainy.  It seems to be punctuating my mood~relentlessly...

Sick kiddo.  Crazy mess at preschool trying to leave work and pick Griff up from daycare.  Thanks for being so patient, Colleen!  The hubs had a track meet and we already had the stress of finding people at the end of the afternoon to get the boys from daycare and school since I had to work late (I had been denied the hour and a half early I needed off due to short staff).  So, the day was already just plain nuts.  Then the kink in the chain of an already frazzled day--a kid with a fever.  Poor Griff.  That wasn't part of the 'plan'...

Feeling the proverbial pull of being a working mommy, and I know I'm not alone in the trenches.  For that, I take heart.  It doesn't, however, lessen the sting of those stay home mom's who bring their children into preschool daily solely for "socialization" and tell their tearful, clinging children at drop off that they have to get home so they can 'get back to bed'.  I guess we've always been fortunate enough to live in a neighborhood with kids, so that socialization happens when you go out your front door to play outside.  Or the SAHM (I'll abbreviate stay home moms from now on ;)) who tell me they get so bored with their kids at home, so they have to bring them to daycare or preschool so they can workout, go shopping, or what ever it is mom's do when they have alone time--I tend to pass out and go to sleep, so I've lost touch with extra curricular activities.  Okay, I'm judging and my bitter and jealous streak is showing.  I'll admit it!

I understand the need for adult contact, that I get--but bored?  I have never been bored with my children.  I can barely get a word in edge wise between them (smile) or get them to sit still for a second.  We're always running around doing something.  Maybe my kids have ADHD...

Then there's the SAHM who feels the need to confide in me me that they just can't imagine working outside of the home because they think that being home for their children is much more important than having a job.  I do too, really, I'm there with ya--it just doesn't happen to be a choice for the majority of us who work outside the home--we NEED a pay check (I'm married to a fellow teacher ;)).  We seriously have to~~ in order to take care of and provide for those precious children of ours.  The mortgage and grocery bills have to be paid.  Otherwise, I'd swap shoes with you in a second. 

Or, maybe not.  I truly value my time with my kids and I miss them every day I'm away from them.  I thought that would change as they grew older~or the "missing you" feeling would lessen just a bit.  That initial first drop off to daycare, school is so fraught with separation anxiety--for us both.  But, that hasn't changed much for me.  I still worry about them when they're away from me, miss them terribly (I often ask my girlfriends if there is something seriously wrong with me in this case), and can't wait to get home to see them again.  I don't get out much, and it is sometimes by choice.  I'd rather be home with my family.  Our home is our sanctuary, and spending those few "free" hours we have together is such a treasure to me.  Sacred time that I know is fleeting.  How many more years do my husband and I have where our boys think it's FUN to hang out with mom and dad?

Yes, being a mom has lots of tough and trying moments.  The sick days, the obstinate days, toilet training boys (those of you who've been there need no explanation), the boogers in the play dough, the quirks and idiosyncrasies every kid has (and the worst is when they pick them up from you ;)), the no sleep--up all night because of night terrors days where all the coffee in the world isn't enough, your kids dealing with the cruelness of the outside world and building them up after society's "norm" has broken and bullied them down, the wishing and wanting the very best for your kid (and at the same time, letting them discover mistakes on their own--because I know that's the best way I learned --and yet I seem to make the same ones time and time again--so forgiving and understanding when your expectations aren't met), judging your parenting skills when your toddler is throwing the fit of all fits in the middle of the Target isle, picking your battles, hearing your child say a swear word and knowing full well they heard it from you, the bumps, the bruises, the scrapes, the trips to the ER for stitches (why hasn't someone come up with a kid bubble yet?), the guilt for never having 'enough' time, energy, patience, the craft skills, the cooking skills you want to have to be the best mom ever...  I could go on and on and on.  But in the midst of all of that is the biggest, most unconditional and genuine love I have ever known~~and I don't want to miss a minute of it...

My point?  Is there one?  I don't think I've had one succinct point since parenthood (smile).  I guess the point is that although I do seriously envy (most obvious at this point) those mommies that get to stay home with their precious treasures day in and day out, I'm attempting to find 'the bright side' of my covetous state.  I couldn't appreciate the time I have more with my children.  While I do understand that SAHM don't sit on the couch and eat bon bons all day (I have two stay home days myself and they are packed to the gills), it must be fabulous to be able to just be there for your kids when they are ill and not having to worry about getting an occurrence at work for taking care of your child, or to just be able to be there in every sense of the word for your child on a daily basis--to cherish those days, and not have to give them up to someone else.  Maybe that's why I'm in the profession I am in.  If I can't stay home with my boys, I might as well do the next best thing--teach and take care of other people's children--because I know how much I want mine to be loved and cared for when I am away.  It kind of balances it all out for me.  And for that, I am truly blessed. 

There are, however, days like this past Thursday--where I want to just throw my hands up and ask of society, really is it too much to expect from you to let me just be a mom and take care of my children when I need to (instead of having to make a million phone calls to see if anyone can pick up my child from daycare and sit with him a bit till I get home--or in the previous case--six hours out of my ten hour work day--sad)?  It's times like those I almost wish we lived in a socialistic society--ha! 

I suppose you always want what you don't have and the grass is always greener on the other side, so the point really is to be content and thankful for what you DO have and cherish the moments that all too readily fly by.  Like picking boogers out of play dough (that would be Griffyn ;))~or scrapping it altogether and making a fresh, warm pot to kneed together and make worm villages (and all the accommodations) with your child when your kid's fever won't stop spiking.  I thank you for each and every moment, Lord, and for having such precious children to drive home to... 

Kari saves the day!

I know, I know, two posts in one day--CrAzY!  But I'm just so excited.  My girl, Kari, saved the day by emailing me this site http://www.rosemarywells.com/ and now Griffyn's party is saved!  He's going to be so excited, and I can't wait to get all this stuff printed off!  Will need some poster board backing, some glue and some cotton balls, and that's it!  I may be more excited than Griffyn =)!!!  Can't wait to get busy and see the ecstatic smile on Griffy's face for his big party day!  Thanks, Kari.  I love you so! =)

Success!!!

Just had my post op. apt. with Dr. Fry and another ultrasound to make sure all clotting was gone today (a week after surgery).  Everything looks fabulous!  So happy!  Been a long, slow, painful week, but by Thursday, I was feeling pretty good!!!  Thanks to all of my amazing friends and family for all of your care, support, yummy meals, and love.  It was all very much appreciated!!!  Aside from a little hiccup with a stint in the ER for Griff this week, it has been smooth sailing!  Nothing like your baby having to get a couple stitches from being a little too brave on a big slide at the park with Daddy to take your mind off your own pain.  Smile.
Excited for just three weeks left of taking it slow.  Looking forward to feeling 100% soon and very happy with the results so far.  God is good! 

My "champion" 2 year old after stitches (this was taken after getting home from the ER after 11 p.m.~Daddy got him ice-cream from McDonald's.  I think he ate two bites.  Such a trooper!!!).

As a side note, Griffyn's third birthday is coming up very soon.  He is obsessed with the Nick Jr. show "Max and Ruby" (I think in large part due to the fact that his big brother's name is Max) adapted from the Rosemary Wells book series.  Marty and I stopped by Nobbies on our way back from my ultrasound today and found NOTHING.  There are no licensed products out there.  I found a cake topper and a few little toys online, but not on any reputable sites I would order from.  If anyone finds or knows of anyplace online or in store that I can find "Max and Ruby" products, please, please, please let me know.  I would greatly appreciate it!  He has one little "Max" beanie made by Ty, but I can't seem to find anything else (beside the books and videos).  I have a few weeks to get creative, but any advice, tips, or information on the subject would be most welcome!

So, things are going well, and everything worked out in God's perfect timing--and I have to admit, it all went by very fast.  Such is life!  Take care, much love and peace to you all!

The Black Crowes - Soul Singing (original video)

When you need a little lift~~let your soul start singing =)!

A little respect...

As I have no option for 'water cooler talk' at 'the office', I'm retaliating a little here on my blog.  Retaliating against disrespect in the work place.  Granted, with young kids it's going to happen.  They're always testing to see just how far they can go--it's like they're BEGGING for boundaries (smile).

 
It's been a very rough and long couple of months at work with the bigger 'kids'.  I guess I'm just really tired of being treated like a babysitter and an indentured servant some, by no means all, of the time by parents and even fellow coworkers of mine.  I have a brain.  I use it frequently (fueled by coffee these days~smile again).  I graduated magna cum laude in the top ten percent of my class at Simpson College (with top honors in English and the Humanities).  I took two years of early education classes and completed my practicum (in which God spoke to me, quite loudly, 'middle school and high school are NOT for you--change your major' =)).  I've been working with children for ten years.  I have my own two children, and I do know a few things (although my brain seems to function on fewer and fewer cells as the years go by!  I blame sleep deprivation--ugh!). 

I know juggling work and parenting is tough--I'm in the trenches right there with ya (smile).  It just seems that common courtesy and respect are lacking in our day to day exchanges with one another (and our culture in general) anymore.  I guess my wish is that teachers and TA's got just a little bit more respect.  It gets down right depressing at times!  Most of us have worked very hard and get paid pretty little, but we do it for all the 'benefits' money can not give--for no other reason than we see an immense value in what we do and we have seen/experienced the effects and differences we can make on a young child's life.  We love children and see our own children in their eyes, we want the best for their and our own children's future, we believe every child deserves a chance--we breathe it and live it everyday.  And yes, it's completely exhausting and involves every ounce of heart and physical strength you have.  Like my husband and I say, you have to be 'on' all the time--engaged and ready to go.   You're "up all night with the kids", "bad mood", "not feeling well" etc. etc. etc. has to be left at the door.  Kids won't put up with that (wink)...

I know every child's name in my classroom and the surrounding classrooms.  I know each child's parent's name as well.  I am NOT "hey you" or "that girl" or "(insert name of child here)'s teacher".  Please have the respect to know (or try to get to know) my name. 

I am with your child up to 10 hours a day.  I can not imagine dropping off my two year old at daycare or my son at school and not inquiring as to how his day went or if there are any issues I need to be aware of--basically taking a few seconds to check in on their day.  I can also not imagine completely ignoring Griffyn's caregiver or Max's teacher when I am greeted upon arrival or departure.  This is common courtesy.  If you are on your cell phone and just too busy to respond to my "hello" or "have a good night", please just nod or wave.  I really do understand that life is busy.  As a working mom with two very busy boys (involved in just about everything) and a husband who teaches and coaches, I truly, truly understand.  If I am talking to another parent and you need my attention or have a question, please say 'excuse me' and I will be with you in a minute.  You do not need to talk through your child (ex. "I guess she doesn't have time for us") or stomp off.  I am one person in a classroom full of kids.  I always do my best to hear and help everyone~please try to be understanding of this and know that I am doing my absolute best and want the best for you and your child. 

Life is crazy, life is hard, and you never know what a person is going through until you've walked in their shoes~~but I think if we respect each other and understand that we are all a part of this human race thing together, life could be a lot sweeter.  It takes two seconds to smile and maybe a few more to say 'thank you', but it's amazing how those two, very small little things, can change the course of a person's day.  Cue Aretha... 

I would also like to give a HUGE thank you to all of the parents and coworkers that make this profession the true joy that it can be.  Your thoughtfulness brings me to tears.  YOU are all AMAZING!!!  So, hugs (or high fives) to all of you!  And the even more amazing thing is, that your thoughtfulness is mirrored and reflected in your children as well.  The things they pick up on (another smile)!  And really, that's all a part of it too, isn't it?  What we are showing and passing down to our little (and big) ones.  They are copy cats, and if we show love and thoughtfulness to those around us, they will too.  It will just be the natural way of things for them.  Wow, what an amazing world this would be...

I would also like to give endless thanks to all of my children's care givers and teachers for the marvelous job they have done in educating and loving and caring for the two most important treasures in my life!  Who they are is, in a large part, because of you.  I would also like to thank my husband for all of his tireless work in teaching and coaching his 'other kids', and for all the ideas he gives me.  Thanks for helping me to see the bigger picture.

So thank you for letting me vent, blessings, and take care.  I'm off to get a squinkie for Griff who just went potty all by himself again!  In the throws of potty training.  No degree can prepare you for that!

Good things to come...

Just really struggling today.  Melancholy doesn't begin to describe it.  Can't seem to get it together for the life of me.  Lots of trying and sad things going on with so many people I love and it is breaking my heart.  Feeling helpless.  Spending lots of time on my knees in prayer.  Sending out too many sympathy cards, in the midst of wedding and baby congrats, and it is all just so surreal.  Life goes on--the sun sets and rises again as we are all in the throws of life...
Celebrated my cousin, Maggie's, wedding this past weekend after finding out some very dear friends of ours are separating after ten or so years of marriage.  By all outward appearances, they were a perfect couple--and I envied there casual, laid back, and seemingly effortless marriage.  I feel like someone has died.  There is no other way to explain it. 
Two very special women lost their mothers on the same day this past week as well.  Both women were their mother's primary care givers.  Another co-worker lost her baby grandson.  Devastating to say the least.  
Another girl friend of mine has been battling a painful custody trail/case since this past October.  The court systems make no sense to me, and I have to admit that I have lost some faith in our judicial system.  She is fighting for what is best for her child.  What is best for him is his mommy.  A dad with drug issues and in-laws that admit to drug use are around this child.  What in heaven's name is there to 'look over' in this custody hearing?  I'm at a loss.  She is the strongest, hardest fighting, most giving woman I know.  I pray that God will bless her beyond her wildest dreams as these past months have been a never ending night mare for her.
Searching to find that proverbial silver lining.  Pray, pray, pray...  Counting my own blessings, and the 'positive' in all of these miserable circumstances is one:  I have learned to be thankful and to appreciate what God has given me so much more. 
This all began with me and my 'problems' affecting my days and nights--no sleep, worry, anxiety--over a marriage I felt was lacking so much (mostly from me) and after years of feeling depleted and never being able to find "just us" time together and trying so hard to make it better, I was asking myself the question of 'what now'?  Then WHAM!  The lives of so many of my friends began to spiral downhill and I began to realize that my 'problems' were really quite insignificant. 
So I will continue to pray, to be in the word for my sanity's sake, and cry.  That I can not help.  I am so tired and just can not motivate myself to do more than light a candle and make a cup of tea.  That usually boosts my mood somewhat.  At a loss.  Being a very proactive, 'fix-it' kind of person, I want to make it all better and realize, painfully, that I can not.  What I CAN do is pray incessantly, listen, bake cookies and bread, send cards, and say 'I love you.'  That's all I've got right now. 
Praying for some sunshine in all this darkness for all my girls and their families right now.  A little glimmer of hope.  A hint of good  things to come...